Aka Tombo Millinery: May 2013

I was around 10 years old when I first remember hearing the Doors in the form of Whisky Bar booming out of my big sister Mhairi's bedroom. I remember thinking it was the most ridiculous circus sounding song I had ever heard.

Obviously I was an idiot.

Fast forward 13 years to walking down a street somewhere in Japan with fellow alien Alex having been recently evicted from a bar singing Whisky Bar to the passing businessmen on their way to work and it seemed like the best song ever written.

This is just one of many, many doors memories for me including dancing with my sister Eilidh in Amsterdam as the crazy lady outside the train station armed with her tambourine belted out People Are Strange, dragging my mum to Jim's grave in Paris only to stand back with pride as I overheard her explain who Jim Morrison was to two very confused German tourists and best of all standing next to my bud Andy and his lovely Louise in Vegas as they was married by Jim Morrison himself.

Good times, great band, amazing music. Another seat in heaven's rock bar is now taken.

Ray Manzarek

Surely I wasn't the only one disappointed with the outfits on show at this years Met ball?

The Met ball is always a huge night for fashion but with so many red carpet events now being televised the red carpet starlets are starting to get a bit bland and predictable so introducing punk as the theme was a genius move to get things all fresh an fun again in fashion. Or not.

I read an article on-line just before the event that said people were at a bit of a loss as to what to wear as, after paying $25,000 for a ticket no one wanted to show up looking ugly or as if they were dressed for Halloween The result was that many people seemed to ignore the theme altogether including, rather confusingly, the organiser Anna Wintour...

These are all lovely but nothing to do with punk?

or turn to the clichéd stereotypes of punk which looked awful.

Some got punk confused with goth?

And some thought that adding some spikes and zips to a dress or clutch was enough.

lovely but not punk

A few people did do an ok job...

While a huge number were just dull.

I expected so much more!

punk?

or just downright ugly!

I actually quite like the design of this she just looks awful in it.

Seriously, what?

And what happened to the guys. Does the theme not apply to them?

Why wasn't Mr Darcy dressed as Mr Darcy (thus steampunkish) or the guy from Adam and the Ants?

I guess really we shouldn't be so surprised that punk and couture don't go so well together as this great article in the NYtimes explains http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/07/fashion/07iht-fpunk07.html?pagewanted=all&_r=2&

but here is my take on it.

To me many styles are stuck in their time. Anything Goth has to resemble the gothic architecture and style of that time, same goes for 80's disco and to a lesser extent rock. But punk wasn't about music (yes there were lots of bands that represent punk but they didn't make punk) it was a social movement. Masses of young people giving the finger to the future that was being made for them that they didn't want. A movement against what was expected of them from society and a rebellion against both the superficial world of disco (through ripped clothes) and the earthy hippies (mohawks). This means that punk can easily be moved into a new age and restyled to rebel against the norms of the day. This is where I though designers would go with the punk theme and this is what everyone seems to of missed.

Here is what I wanted to see more of...

Punk can be achieved and still be pretty. The dresses above are challenging the ideas of feminine meaning soft and delicate by juxta positioning classic feminine looks with rougher, tougher materials like denim and leather. The contrast and the "I'm feminine but could still kick your ass" look makes it punk.

Closely related to the hard ass feminine look is the making feminine look ridiculous by following all the rules of what makes something girly but taking it to the extreme through use of make-up, hair and miss matched or exaggerated accessories. So many of the pretty but not punk dresses I listed at the start of this post would have looked amazing if they had been paired with trainers or big boots, a bobble hat or stripy mittens. Punk.

Using prints is a great way of making a punk statement be it a print of a revolutionary figure, a protest sign or in Drew's dress above taking a very feminine looking dress and covering it in what looks like giant bug body parts. Punk.

My favourite "new punk" look however has to be the one that challenges the feminine ideal the most (bonus that it lets me feature my favourite designer Guo Pei) by taking what is supposed to be the perfect feminine body shape and contorting it to ridiculous extremes. Punk.

I think this will have to go down in Met ball history as the biggest, most disappointing missed opportunity. Plus where were all the hats! Hats can be super punk if you follow all the rules listed above.